I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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