alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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