hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
