Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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