Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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