just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
