I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I have post one night stand depression
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