like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
