yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
