Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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