why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
