38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
