you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize