Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
