i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
