just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
