Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
