I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
