Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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