grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
