I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
In America we eat man semen.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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