I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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