I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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