You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
