did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
