I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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