Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
whose ass print is on the piano?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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