i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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