We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
