Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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