youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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