Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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