I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just pee around me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
