I wish I only lived at night.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
