My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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