He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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