We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize