the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
