I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
