My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
