marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
