i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
