I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i already hear my dad disowning me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
