We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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