he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
