OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
