were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
