people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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