We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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