please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
