WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize