dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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