Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My ass is underappreciated
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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