I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
