I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
