Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
my liver is dry heaving
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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