you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
