my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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