well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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