whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
