Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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