this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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